I think 'Bama AT LEAST covers this week against Florida, and I have a couple reasons, neither of which pertains to the talent of either team, which is obviously meaningless in the discussion of which team will be victorious.
1) None of Florida's games this year have even been remotely close. That is, with the exception of the Ole Miss game, which they happened to lose. Alabama is 12-0. In God's Conference. Where it's not that the offenses just flat suck, but that they have to suffer against such tough defenses that even a NFL Pro Bowl offense would struggle to score on ANY team in the SEC!!! There's so much speed and the stadiums are so loud!!! Fucking gag me. But regardless, 'Bama has 12 wins in a conference that you'd have to rank in the top 2. That's an accomplishment. And Saban, while a slimy, slimy bastard, is one hell of a college football coach. (Sidenote: Saban lamented the treatment of Phil Fulmer at Tennessee and Sylvester Croon at Miss St. Nick Saban, beacon of honesty and integrity, is hereby not allowed to lament treatment of any living person / non-living entity. Ever.) And you think Saban isn't gonna have the Crimson Tide, undefeated, #1 ranking, and a TEN POINT DOG ready to play? Which brings me to point # 2.....
2) NO RESPEK!!!!! This sentence undoubtedly came out of the mouth of an Alabama player this week in Tuscaloosa: "YO. WE'S DA #1 TEAM IN DA WHOLE COUNTRY. WE AIN'T LOST A GODDAM GAME TO NOBODYS. AND DEY (the infamous "dey"....who is that?) GON' MAKE US A TEN POINT UNDERDOG??? MAHHHHHHH, DEY DISRESPEKIN' US!!!!" And if you think that the Disrespek Factor doesn't exist, look no further than the Oklahoma Sooners. They absolutely suck balls in big games that they are supposed to win. But make them an underdog in a game and they'll come out with their ass on fire and destroy any team in the country. Andrew Jones, MU tight end, said in the press that they don't need to be afraid of Oklahoma, and that in fact "they need to be scared of us." This game was going to be a blowout anyway, but now there is no way now that Missouri keeps this game within 40. So everyone is slobbin' Gator knob, the Tide is a 10-point dog. Mad disrespek. And I'll save you the suspense of wondering what the Alabama players are going to say after the game if they win: "Nobody believed in us except for the coaches and players in that locker room!!!"
Bama covers.
Just for future reference.....can posts be deleted at a later date?
- Steve
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4 comments:
although i lol'd all the way home to your post, bama will not cover.
I know I went over this on our "yeah boss, I'm working" listserve and the general theme of this blog is anti-numbers, but just for shits and grins here's the average margin of victory for common opponents:
Bama: 13
UF: 30
Just saying. I will enjoy spending your $100. Perhaps I'll buy you a shirt that says NO RESPEK!!!!
Also, next time, try laying the racist overtones on a little thicker. I'll almost didn't pick up on it.
Also, Bama has 8 wins in the SEC, not 12. Really, they're just numbers. Don't let them scare you.
6 p.m. on a Friday night, I'm in sweats on my couch commenting a blog. I already have a job, so I must need a hooker or something. Or is it friends? Yeah, friends. And a hooker.
when in doubt, you need both.
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